DELAYING MARRIAGE TO BOND WITH STRANGERS

 

 

“It is madness beyond compare to try to reform the world.”

Moliere, The Misanthrope, 1666

 

“Every being is a reformer until reform tramps on his or her toes.”

Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

 

What if all mortals in this world remained single into their mid-thirties and chose to bond deeply, and only once, with as many strangers as humanly possible? Would that scenario qualify as a form of madness beyond compare?

And what if the Muslim terrorists that gunned down the cartoonists in Paris who were mocking their religious order had engaged profoundly in the past with a Christian or Jew? How long would it take to bond in a single meeting to keep from killing each other in the future? Would that idea make the grade to appear absurd enough to get one’s toes tromped upon?

There was a serious trend among young adults during the counter-culture years in the 1960s and 70s who were wanting to stay single for an extended period of time but they claimed their peers, priests and parents were pressuring them to marry early. I counseled several students to hold off if they felt the need to not wed so soon. A few did marry young but were divorced within a year or two.

I may have been duped by the onslaught of neuro-biological findings in the last few years but the discoveries fascinated me. I learned that humans are created in such a way they can trust instantly and bond unconditionally with total strangers on the spot.

Scientists have come up with an experiment called the ‘Open Loop’ design theory in which strangers in a lab setting can be wired whereby one person conveys signals that can change hormone levels, heart functions, sleep rhythms, and immune systems inside the body of another.

Daniel Goleman, a researcher on the project, contends “That’s how couples in love are able to impact each other’s brains surges…The open loop design of the limbic system means that total strangers can change our physiology and so our emotions.” (Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence.

How much of our hormone levels, heart functions, sleep rhythms and immune systems are we willing to risk letting out, or is it all just a bit of madness beyond compare to being able to give and receive that kind of loving?

 

[BS1]

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